If it is your heartfelt desire to keep your marriage (and, stop your spouse from divorcing you) then you’ll need to put into immediate action an effective plan that works… and… that’ll help you in achieving your objective!
AVOIDING A CRISIS SITUATION
Let’s discuss the need for a “Crisis Action Plan”. But first, you’ll need to understand that this is a real life crisis situation, and it calls for immediate and drastic measures.
Because in order to stop your spouse from divorcing you it will suggest that you’ll need to act in ways somewhat contrary to the way you act now. Especially in regards to how you’d typically respond in this type of situation.
And it will be totally counter intuitive!
Yes! This is the answer you will NOW have to act in ways that’ll be counter intuitive. And most likely it’ll be entirely the opposite of what you'd generally be prone to do. But more importantly, it’ll be completely the opposite of what your spouse will expect you to do and act.
But first, let’s see how spouses (as a rule) act when they’re faced with the likelihood of divorce?
1. Usually the spouse (that is: the spouse who desires to keep their marriage) makes repeated attempts to contact his or her spouse by phoning, sending SMS text messages along with a barrage of emails, etc.
2. Usually the spouse makes repeated promises. I'll change for the better! I'll never stray again, I’ll never do such and such again, etc, etcetera!
3. Usually the spouse quarrels or reasons with their marriage mate in an effort to change his or her mind. But in MOST cases, this action only serves to reinforce his or her commitment to leave.
4. Usually the spouse dwells on negative thoughts… “I'll never to win him back”… or thoughts of a similar nature. Remember that thinking negatively won't make you any more attractive to your spouse. It’ll only get you down and depress you even more. And, you don't need it!
What’s crucial at this point is to defuse all of your spouse’s arguments (the so-called defenses that he or she has cultivated in their mind against you). If you act in ways similar to the 4 points mentioned above, you’ll appear smaller and less desirable to your spouse. So how do you counter your spouse’s arguments?
BE COUNTER INTUITIVE!
1. Pull back! Resist ALL urges to contact him or her! By doing this it’ll surprise your spouse and renew his or her interest. Do this because it will be totally unexpected.
2. Whatever you do DON’T make promises! Use the time apart to rethink and sort out any nagging marital issues, and more importantly… work toward reducing your role in them.
3. Agree with your spouse. Yes! Go with the flow, it’s kind of like jujitsu use your spouse’s momentum against themselves. He or she will be caught off guard!
4. Strive to be happy with yourself despite the situation. Generally speaking, your spouse doesn't want a marriage mate who can't live without them, he or she wants a partner who is capable of living on his or her own but, wants to be with them.
In conclusion, become counter intuitive and put these positive points into play. It will astonish your spouse, and help him or her to recognize they really don’t know everything about you at all. Give it sufficient time, and by using the proper approach your spouse will begin to remember why he or she fell in love with you in the first place.
For more information on marriage and divorce forms as well as free access to database of state specific downloadable divorce forms please visit the authors website at www.divorce-forms.org